source: tumblr @sophiastancer
Hello my loves,
For this week’s love note we are dealing with perception. Recently, I came across a video about the struggles and frustrations women face when dealing with how they are being perceived. I resonated with this as it is the reason I created KWEZI. Every-time I chose an outfit, new hairstyle, I felt like I was being put in a box; feminine, masculine; available, conservative; modest, un-ladylike; too ordinary ‘basic’, too much, sometimes too boss like and other times promiscuous. The opinions depended on the crowd and realistically, I had had enough.
I wanted to create my own adjectives, rather than the ones I was dealt. I felt my style choices should be based on my mood, feeling at that present, point, time or place in my life. I wanted adjectives that always made me feel empowered. So…
Let’s start with the issue at hand. Perception, the google definition is “the way in which something is regarded, understood, or interpreted.” Perception will be based on so many factors; culture, upbringing, environment and other key demographics. The most common perceptions when it comes to style are, too short/ revealing, means it’s inviting; Too long/ covered up, you are religious, modest, boring; wearing trousers, you are masculine or a feminist and when your style is out of the norm, you are ‘quirky’.
Well, honestly, the only option that matters is your own. Sadly, there is no way to combat the naysayers. However, the biggest gem and the best way to move through life is by being in control of yourself and your life. You can’t control how other people will react. I know this doesn’t make the fear of being perceived any less real, but there are steps we can take everyday to become more sure in ourselves, eliminating the insecurity that other’s opinions bring us.
There is power in being intentional. Here at KWEZI we advocate for style-consciousness, we want you to be aware of your fashion and how it makes you feel. Connect with your clothing. You know how people say “Don’t give it a name, because once you do, you will be attached.” Well you are going to be attached to the feeling clothes give you after this.
Go through your closet and assign three adjectives for all your favourite pieces/outfits. For example; Sexy, Elegant, Impactful. This will not only empower you but assign an emotion to your style, ultimately giving you confidence. Confidence is the aim. Confidence brings security and self-security radiates. You want to be able to feel like you can dress however you feel, or else it is not fun anymore.
This year we are helping you become your best self and feeling good, goes with looking good, as well as actually being good. Prioritise getting to know yourself. This means asking yourself challenging questions to self-assess where an insecurity or the lack of confidence may stem from. You have to be intentional with the choices you make so you can ‘stand on business’ when someone asks why you’ve made it.
The next time you are dealing with unwarranted perception, give them your adjectives and watch them feel as small as they attempted to make you feel. You are excellent & you are most importantly a style-conscious individual so wear your clothes with pride.
Use this week to exercise your rights to do and wear whatever makes you feel your best.
With Love
-JK